Despite being exposed as a covert government operation, the Super Bowl managed to maintain its position as an unofficial American holiday.
That’s correct, after being revealed as a manipulated arm of the government, the NFL put on a brave face and carried on. The league even orchestrated a 16-16 tie and an overtime before Kansas City (hint, hint) secured their second consecutive championship with a 25-22 victory over San Francisco.
One could argue that the game was more significant than ever. Ludacris and Lil Jon joined Usher – sporting roller-skates – for the halftime show. Reba McEntyre performed the Star Spangled Banner while a trio of jets flew over the domed Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas. The stands were packed, celebrities made appearances – unlike the Grammys, Jay Z had both of his daughters by his side – and grandeur clashed with circumstance in the tunnel, competing for top billing.
Pomp emerged victorious. In case you missed it, a few extreme right-wing commentators, who may have lost their ability to think rationally, claimed that the Super Bowl was somehow fixed because Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift were spending time together. Even President Biden was implicated!
And all of this occurred before Kelce expressed his frustration by bumping into coach Andy Reid on the sideline during the first half. Not helping matters, Travis. However, in recent weeks, the anti-Swift/Kelce sentiment had become so widespread in certain political circles that even NPR covered the phenomenon. That’s when you know it’s a topic you can discuss with your grandparents.
Some peculiar events took place. Both quarterbacks had exactly 123 yards at halftime. The same yardage. And one plus two equals three. And… you see how simple it is? And now the Chiefs have “won” once again. Dear reader, be cautious about where you seek commentary on Monday.
Every few years, the conservative side becomes extremely angry with football and vows to quit. Then the liberal side becomes furious with football for an entirely different reason. Of course, there are legitimate grievances, such as when a catch is reviewed for six minutes and ultimately ruled as not a catch. It’s infuriating.
There is often a kernel of truth beneath all the outrage, but this time, the speculation about space lasers manipulating the outcome or any other insane theories being projected on certain channels was baseless. Taylor Swift not voting for Donald Trump and Travis Kelce promoting a pharmaceutical company that produces vaccines is the extent of it?! Is that all they have?
Trump himself posted on a low-energy social media platform before the game, stating, “I signed and was responsible for the Music Modernization Act for Taylor Swift and all other Music Artists,” he wrote in his peculiar grammar. “Joe Biden didn’t do anything for Taylor, and never will.” He went on to say that Swift couldn’t possibly vote for Biden and that he likes Kelce, even though the tight end “may be a liberal and probably can’t stand me!” As transactional as it may be to claim that you’ve already paid for someone’s vote, what this actually tells us is that Trump may despise Swift and Kelce, but he recognizes the influence they hold in American culture. Because as devoted as his hardcore supporters are to Trump, the Swifties are legendary. If it’s a battle between Trump and Swift for the Super Bowl, the smart money is on Swift.
Once she started attending Chiefs games, she became a magnet that attracted even larger audiences to an already top-rated NFL. Swift’s choice of jacket turned Kristin Juszczyk’s boutique NFL apparel business into a major trend. When she began dating Kelce, his jersey sales increased by 400%, according to CBS, and Chiefs ticket sales soared.
In the second quarter, she chugged a drink on live TV, and if there’s any way to win over American hearts and minds, that might be it. On the other hand, Trump killed the USFL and sent an NFL owner to London as an ambassador during his presidency. However, that owner was Woody Johnson, who was less the most influential NFL owner and more someone who must have been appalled by the British tradition of relegation.
StubHub projected this Super Bowl to be the second-best in its history, with the 2018 game being the best. Luxury boxes sold for $1 million and above. CBS sold 30-second commercials for $7 million, according to USA Today.
It’s astonishing that the American sports audience could embrace all of this after the game had been exposed as a farce to maintain an incumbent in power. Somehow. Illogically.
But this was always going to be a challenging matchup for the far right, pitting the Chiefs and a prominent singer against San Francisco, a city that far-right media outlets love to criticize. How does one choose which team to support between them?
Those eccentric commentators are correct about one thing. The game is manipulated, but not in the way they believe. The NFL is engineered to divert your attention towards money-generating platforms. The league sells your viewership to betting companies, telecommunications firms, pharmaceutical corporations, and technology partners. The one thing it cannot do if it hopes to retain your attention is manipulate the actual games.
If the NFL were fixing the Super Bowl, they might have injected more offense into the first half. However, there was drama, with the Chiefs making a comeback after a lackluster first-half performance, resulting in a tie game with 4:20 remaining in the fourth quarter. The Chiefs didn’t play well, but San Francisco failed to score more points when they had the opportunity, making the comeback relatively easy.
We look forward to Super Bowl 59 in Roswell. It’s about time we let the extraterrestrials choose a winner.
According to the Source deadspin.com