There has been a great deal of discussion and written commentary regarding problematic parents involved in youth sports. Just recently, it was reported that former NBA player Matt Barnes allegedly threatened a high school student who was announcing a game between Harvard-Westlake and Crespi Carmelite High School, where Barnes’ son plays basketball. In my home state of New Jersey, one of the husbands from the Real Housewives of New Jersey was ejected from his son’s wrestling match after arguing with the referee. However, it becomes even more disturbing when a parent in St. Louis shoots a youth football coach out of anger over their child’s playing time.
Stephen Borelli, the Sports Editor at USA Today, addressed the issue of overzealous sports parents in an article published in October. The headline read: “Sports parents are out of control and officials don’t feel safe. Here’s what’s at risk.” I vividly remember seeing a sign at a youth baseball tournament several years ago that read, “I’m a child. My coach is a volunteer. The officials are human. No college scholarships will be handed out today.”
Given the current state of affairs, my ex-wife decided to enroll our second-grade son in a winter basketball league. Last year, our town only offered a clinic for the kids, but this year they had the opportunity to participate in “competitive” league play. Unfortunately, the turnout was not as expected, and there were only enough children to form three teams. These three teams would have to compete against each other twice a week.
Furthermore, there was a shortage of coaches, prompting my ex-wife to volunteer. Since I would already be attending all the games and had previously coached our son in other sports, I decided to assist as well. It is important to note that we are dealing with second-grade basketball here. These kids are only 7 or 8 years old and are still in the early stages of learning the fundamentals.
Watching and coaching these games can be quite challenging. The scores are often low, with ties like 4-4. Defense is minimal, and shots are taken from all distances, many of which don’t even come close to hitting the rim. The kids tend to swarm whoever has the ball, sometimes even their own teammates. Their listening skills seem to disappear, and there are countless double dribbles, travels, and other minor rule violations.
However, this is to be expected, and in a way, it adds to the fun. If the referee, typically a high school student, were to call every infraction, these 20-minute games would last an eternity. Some leniency is necessary since this is the first time these kids are playing basketball in an organized setting.
But there is one coach who stands out on the sidelines. He positions himself on the court, obstructing the action, and constantly yells at the teenage referee. His voice echoes loudly as he pleads for calls and reacts dramatically when they don’t go his team’s way. He questions why certain fouls or violations were not called and seeks sympathy from the people at the scorer’s table. Unfortunately for him, they are tired of his behavior, which has persisted throughout the entire season.
This coach, however, believes he has a valid excuse. It’s his son’s team, so he feels entitled to be fired up and fight for favorable calls. On the other hand, every other coach, whose children are also on their respective teams, offers encouragement and reminds players to raise their hands on defense. They simply want their kids to enjoy the game and engage in some physical activity.
We are not begging for calls or treating our child as if he’s a superstar. It’s just second-grade basketball, after all. I highly doubt that betting platforms like BetMGM or DraftKings have any lines on these games. Interestingly, this is the same coach who would text me during flag football games, questioning why his son wasn’t getting more playing time.
Unfortunately, this behavior is not unique to this particular coach. Similar parents can be found across various sports, at different levels, in different states. As for the father who caused a scene at every one of our games, he happens to be a police officer and thought he could smooth things over by offering a PBA card to the teenager operating the scoreboard.